Learning About Sex Offender Behavior

Written by a Treated Sex Offender (5809265956)

This article is to help raise your awareness of who Sex Offenders are, where they come from and possibly answer why they do what they do. Each of these topics could easily fill a book, however I will try to summarize each. Watch for future more in-depth articles on these topics.

Sex offending is a learned behavior. Most offenders have mentally rehearsed their behaviors (molesting / raping etc.) 1,000’s of times in the form of fantasies, called Sexually Deviant Fantasies. These fantasies are blueprints or plans for how he/she will carryout his crimes, what it will be like, how the victim will react, how he will get away with it, and many other things. So, a sex offender has in essence "acted out" his crimes 1,000’s of times. In actuality, the offender’s fantasy is never realized. During and after the crime, the offender finds the actual ‘acting out’ doesn’t live up to the fantasy and the urge to try again to fulfill that fantasy is strong. A sex offender does not wake up one morning and decide to sexually abuse someone. If this is the case, then this type of offender is called an impulse offender and is the MOST dangerous of all sex offenders; however, they are rare. All other offenders plan their crimes in great detail and if they tell you they didn’t then they are either lying or in very deep denial.

So, for the offender who says "It was an accident" or "They were drunk and would never do it again" or simply "I would never do it again" etc. etc. These are all justifications and minimizations – his crime was well planned and his reluctance to be responsible for it is his denial and his way of attempting to deceive those around him (family and friends) – and he is often successful at it. If the real truth were to be told a Sex Offender usually has numerous victims in his past. The offender with one victim is very, very rare! Never believe for a moment that he won’t do it again – because he will – unless he gets treatment and/or has restrictions placed on him (other than just registering).

Sex Offenders do what they do for numerous reasons, but I will focus on the one that is the primary reason, which most sex offenders without treatment would never admit to. Right or wrong, sex offenders somehow distortedly feel "deprived " of something. They feel deprived of power, control, love sex, attention, justice (whatever that may be), and many others. It could be one or all of those things. However, it ultimately comes down to them wanting power and control over someone – anyone – and they seek out the most vulnerable ones – usually children. Sex is the weapon they use to gain that power and control.

Why? Throughout a Sex Offender’s life , beginning at a very early age (puberty or before), he/she has chosen to handle their problems or negative feelings (such as helplessness, powerlessness, fear, anger, rage, shame, guilt, depression, sadness, humiliation, vulnerableness – virtually all negative feelings and emotions) by fantasizing (as described above) about being sexual with someone and being able to do whatever they want because of the victim’s vulnerableness to them in size, authority, or through threats or actual physical acts of violence and other ways. These ‘fantasies are often reinforced through masturbation, which is a very powerful re-enforcer. It doesn’t take long of using this type of reinforcement for it to become a way a life for the offender. The more its done the less empathetic the would be offender becomes towards his fantasy victims, and in turn towards everyone in real life. His fantasies are very distorted – such as – the victim "loves" him and what he is doing to them, they love it so much that they seek him out, they don’t tell because they like it so much, they are his sex slaves and will do everything he desires, he is a perfect "lover" – all of these are distorted and delusional, yet it is not long before the offender truly believes them to be real and/or that he can make them real. Again, his empathy towards others continues to diminish. All the while he often has intense shame and guilt associated with these fantasies and masturbation - which simply perpetuates the cycle. Some offenders do this pattern of behavior more than others – either way this is their pattern or cycle of behavior. Eventually, they create a victim – believing all the while - that their victims will be like their fantasy and that they aren’t hurting them. Which is not EVER the case. This is why treatment for sex offenders takes so long. They hold on to these distortions tightly and it takes time to break their denial regarding them (there are many levels of denial). But once their denial is broken, they take to treatment eagerly and avidly!

Most sex offenders don’t "act out" all the time, nor do they think about it all the time or every time they see a child. It’s during times of high stress – like divorce, loss of job or family member, arguments or any time an offender feels he has lost power and control over any situation that brings about those feelings listed above, does he go deeper into his cycle. This is when he begins his fantasy of how to gain control over someone. If a potential victim -that he has already been setting up- is close enough at hand and if he believes he can get away with it, then he MIGHT sexually abuse them. This is why 90-95% of all child molesters sexually abuse family or friends’ children. This is because of numerous reasons, but primarily because they know these children – what they are afraid of, what type of personality they have (it does matter), how best to take advantage of any perceived vulnerabilities they might have (shyness, lonely, feels unloved or un-liked by family/peers and many other things), and often the intended victim likes or loves the person who is planning to sexually abuse them, which makes controlling them that much easier for the offender (at least in his mind). Also, in the majority of the cases, the offender has already been setting this intended victim up for days, week , months, even years, yes years, before actually sexually abusing them. He does this by buying them things, taking them places, setting no boundaries, encouraging them to break boundaries, staying up late, talking dirty, talking sexual or telling sexual jokes, alcohol, drugs, smoking, etc) anything that makes the offender "look cool" to the intended victim. More often than not, prior to the sexual abuse starting, the offender is usually the person the intended victim turns to in times of trouble or need. The offender has set this up this way – which makes it even harder for the victim to tell on him – and sometimes exactly the reason why the parents don’t believe their child when he/she tells them they were sexually abused by this person. This person is held in high trust by the parents. Its all part of his (the offender’s) plan and exactly why a lot of offenders never get caught.

This is why treatment does work for sex offenders. All of these steps take a lot of time for an offender to set up. Which allows a lot of time for intervention by the offender, his family, friends, or probation & parole officer. There are warning signs that are very visible for each offender, but they are only noticeable to those who know (support group) what to look for (another story). Part of an offender’s treatment is for the offender to ensure that his support group (family, friends, probation & parole officer, etc) is completely aware of these warning signs and his actual cycle of behavior. Breaking the offenders cycle is the key to No More Victims - and the whole concept is to intervene on his cycle very early on – which makes intervening a very simple task and one that is easy for the offender and his support group to do. There are a lot of other things that go on with this, but I have tried to keep it short and simple. The actual process would take a couple of books to explain it fully. (If you would like more information on it call a Sex Offender Treatment Provider and ask if a Chaperon Program is available in your area). That’s why treatment for sex offenders is not something that’s accomplished in a day, a week, or a month – usually it takes a year or more.

Like was stated earlier, the offenders most parents should fear are those that offend against family and friends’ children (90-95% of all child sexual abusers). Yet, these offenders are the easiest to control and treat!

Why? An offender, in the overwhelming majority of cases, will NOT act out unless there is some reasonable assurance he will not get caught. So, if an offender is restricted from being around children then he doesn’t have the opportunity to gain their trust and set them up (Remember that these offenders DO NOT abuse children that they do not know – their pattern of behavior is to abuse children that they know). Also, if an offender has to take routine (1-2 per year) polygraphs he is not able to begin to set up a child. The polygraph will catch him if he is attempting to set up a child long before he is close to abusing that child. So, this type of offender can be safely treated in the community either on Probation or Parole. Both of these have mandatory rules that the offender must abide by or face going back to prison to serve his full sentence. The worst and most dangerous thing a parent can allow to happen is to allow Sex Offenders to be released from prison without any type of probation or parole, which happens everyday. Most offenders currently in prison have NO probation time at all and the Parole Board and Governor will not recommend or approve of Sex Offenders getting parole because it’s political suicide. (go to http://soinformation.1colony.com/concerned.html )for more details. They fear your (the citizens) wraith if something goes wrong, which has happened before. But, lets look at it logically: If Offender-A gets out on parole a couple of years before he discharges his time and lets say he re-offends 6 months after his release, isn’t it a pretty sure bet that the same offender would re-offend when he discharges his sentence (without parole) in 3 years? Sure he would have – there are some people that simply cannot be stopped and these offenders are the smallest group of sexual offenders (less than 5%). The important thing is to try to stop the majority of sexual offenders for the longest period of time.

This group of offenders (as high as 95% of all child sexual abusers) can be stopped if the right controls are in place (Probation or Parole combined with treatment, polygraphs, not being around children, being accountable to a non-offending adult (support group), etc.) If they are eligible for parole the chances are real high (unless they have a life sentence) that they will be getting out in 2-4 years anyway with NO RESTRICTIONS, other than registration, and that’s not a deterrent to these types of offenders. On parole or probation that 2-4 years becomes 10-20 years (approximately) on parole or probation. That means the children of Oklahoma are pretty well protected from these offenders for a much longer period of time, in fact, it would be a different generation of children by the time they are released for their parole or probation restrictions and by then these offenders would be treated sex offenders and would be a much lesser risk to everyone.

Sadly, nothing will happen to change the current practices (letting sex offenders get out without Parole or Probation) unless YOU do something. Share this with everyone you know – call your Representatives, Governor, Parole Board Members, etc - and tell them how you feel – send them a copy of this – ONLY by YOU getting involved can you protect your children. Don’t wait for someone else to protect your child because they won’t do it – and don’t wait for the offenders to change – he has to be made to change. So get involved and let your voice be heard.

There are approximately 2300 Sex Offenders in prison currently and most will be released someday without any Probation or Parole time. If they moved into your neighborhood you might know about it, but if they had the restrictions listed above your children would be a whole lot safer than if they were released without treatment and without any restrictions. It truly is up to you.

 

 

http://http://soinformation.1colony.com/questions.html

http://soinformation.1colony.com/preventingabuse.html

http://soinformation.1colony.com/SOawareness.html

http://www.missingkids.com/html/sexoffender.html

SO information Home Page

 

Check this link often for more articles relating to sex offenders.

Sex offenders. who are they? Where do they come from? Why do they do what they do? What do you do if you are living next door to one.

 

 

 



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